Bioshock Infinite
Posted by Troll Racials are Overpowered [HTML][XML][PERM][FULL] on 6 April 2013, 10:51 pm
I don't understand my... self.  The lack of protest at being left there confuses me.  The refusal to pick up the knife confuses me.  I suspect many things in this game will confuse me.

Yet I am not confused by who I am, for I am an RPG player and that means that I pick stuff up.  Maybe that stuff is an offering at a church.  I will pick it up.  In my defense, I am poor and for all I know, this is another Randian dystopia that thinks wealth is the measure of one's soul.  In that way I am saving myself, as one should in a church.  And clearly saving is needed, for the floor is stone and covered with water.  The stairs are stone and the water flows down them.  My lost gun is no loss, for it could not save me here.

What did "that idiot priest" do wrong?  Everyone knows that you don't struggle and breath in the water during a baptism.  Clearly this DeWitt fellow that I inhabit has come from some extremist atheist camp in the backwoods and does not know how to function in a different society.  Then again, he is what he is, which will make sense if you've played it for a few minutes, or none at all if you haven't.

The developers seemed to have perfect timing.  Right as I was saying to my friends that the game seemed to be a bit slow, setting up the scenery and then some more, with nary a bullet in sight, then I smashed someone's face in in a most dreadful manner.  Since then I've been in more or less constant combat, pausing for a moment to listen to the local chapter of the KKK before throwing a fireball into their meeting.  Thus ended my first night.

P.S. Syl's the bestest person ever and she knows why.

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